Socratic Monologues
It's so funny how high up in the sky I feel sometimes, looking down on life, floating above the illusion of reality, understanding what the blind sheep can't understand. Stringing thoughts together that produce fruitful words and didatic decisions. Socrates basically shouted from his analytical questionnaire -"I'll show them like Jesus showed them." Empty masses falling into the spiral of earth's hell, utopian society upchucking the troublemaker for the supposed good of the community. Crazy is not defined in set lines or words anymore-sometimes the difference between the sane and the insane is that one chooses to fit the mold of society and the other chooses to open his eyes past the blind markers, choking bridle, and set standards.
The "fool" that says, "One has to die for the overall good of society," is the delusional schizophrenic obsessed with his own madness and spiraling towards failure and calamity. The "genius" that proclaims, "Conformity is key," receives an award for being a leader and brings everyone inside the box of plain thinking and casts out the ones that question their own intelligence. Everyone has a little Socrates in them. Everyone seeks answers to questions already answered by the experts. TV tells us not to think and highway posterboards tell us what we want and what to dream.
The world, I guess, would've always been perceived as flat and we would be scared to tip over the edge if someone didn't question theories portrayed as reality. Sometimes I feel like I know too much, but don't know what to do with it. I have monologues about life with my friends. They go on for over thirty minutes. Sometimes, I feel like I have all this potential boiling up inside of me, but don't know what to do with it. I feel like I'm bursting at the seams, trying to figure out more than what's printed on the pages, and more than what's shown on the TV stations. I feel like my thoughts could write a book but I can't pick up the pen to write on paper. Sometimes I'm scared I'll just die unfulfilled, stiff body closed in casket, my Socratic monologues lingering only as gray memories tucked away in my friends' brains, squishy with age.
Labels: Monologues, Socrates
posted by Kamaria Monmouth @ 7:49 PM
6 Comments:
It's weird to have such a definitive sense of your thoughts ("Sometimes I feel like I know too much, but don't know what to do with it.") and name this 'Socratic Monologue' since the adage "I know that I know nothing" is Socratic.
Your style is demanding in the beginning because it's a little vague, but it works to set the conformist-sheep convention.
The form is weird and could use some paragraph breaks between thoughts.
This piece is full of emotion and it's a very interesting read. Since your language is so specific, I will make my comments very specific. There were certain phrases and word choices that confused me:
" I have monologues about life with my friends. " What does it mean to have monologues? Did you give or perform a monologue or is it just in your head?
"didatic decisions" What exactly is a didactic decision? I'm not sure I grasp that concept.
"but don't know what to do with it" This is a powerful statement but it gets undermined because you use it twice right next to one another. Maybe you could change one of them?
Other than these small changes, I really enjoyed your writing and especially like the almost political/philosophical tone it has.
I think the crux of this piece, the true self-reavealing part is when you say: "sometimes i feel like i know too much, but don't know what to do with it." Maybe tap into this and explore it more thoroughly. As a reader, I don't really have any empathy or incentive to keep reading before that line because I can't connect with the writer yet.
The first two paragraphs of this piece are gilded in themes of intellectual rebellion and anti-consumerist sentiment. Your views are expressed colorfully and solemnly; passionate but without the ferocity of hate or anger, more along the lines of stoic contempt, which aligns with the mentions of Socrates.
The third paragraph breaks away from all this and explains why these sentiments about the world concern you so. It is an honest conversation with yourself that can be emphasized with. I would suggest adding one more paragraph between 2 & 3 to better construct the segue between condemning this modern world's values and how it agitates your struggle with attaining your poetic goals.
I like your topic. I feel as if I definitely have times where I can relate to the this sort of inner turmoil in the mind.
The only thing is that it gets a little wordy and repetitive. With a piece like this you should make sure the flow of the it is smooth. Maybe go back and look over your word usage and cut out some sentences to make it tigher.
I also love the last line. I'd like to see more description like that throughout the piece.
You might write those monologues down, making them as specific as possible, not just abstraction and generalization, but about you engaging in the world (what TV shows and what billboards, and where?) Use the page as a place to put the overload of facts and information and opinions, and see what you can make of it there.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home