Feeding off High School Dreams
Feeding off your high school dreams, still cornered in football superstar tackles and cheerleader pom-pom outlashes, but you're just a regular Joe, working 7-5 getting minimum dough, yet crying for more, while still embellishing a past that ended more than 10 years ago, as you see your high school sweetheart moving on to bigger dreams, and your friends raking in the green, settling down with kids and dumping the alcohol and dirty partying with slutty chicks, for the big suburbia houses with red bricks, and you think about how your life used to be so “it”, back when you had the 6-pack to bat, and the trophies declaring to the mommies of the world that you were the neighborhood corner star of track, that never sold crack. But now you're washed up and about to gray, realizing you got bills to pay, and that what once was now is not, because you aren't educated past the diploma that doesn't help with climbing up the corporate ladder, even if it saves you the loans that brings young kids to grownups dealing with social suicide, that makes their hearts splatter, but your head is still in the clouds, and you get intoxicated off of how great you used to be, and ignore the fact that you're not going anywhere, just traveling in circles. And maybe once in a while, a granny or two might boost your ego with a comment about your high school sports career that is minimal to the NBA and NFL players that practice all day and have millions stuffed in their wallets today, but you convince yourself that it's okay; your progress is just a little delayed- but take some words of advice: if you want to get paid then you need to somehow get that degree to get off minimum wage.
Labels: Average Joe, High School, Unfulfilled dreams

4 Comments:
This is really nice. I like the off-rhymes throughout and the way it reads like "slam" poetry a bit. Stream of consciousness, but a conscious idea. Maybe try breaking up the lines a bit so it's not one big chunk of text.
I thought this read well overall; the only thing I find lacking in it is your presence--I'm not at all sure who is talking or why. I'd like to know if this is about you or someone else. It reads well, but for Creative Non-fiction, it left me wanting more!
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That first sentence is lovely. "Feeding off your high school dreams," is a strong opening. The rhyme works, though some are better than others. Rhymes, generally, are best when the two rhymed words are unexpected as a pair. "Green" and "dreams," though slant-rhyme, is great compared to "today" and "okay."
The rhyme word is automatically stressed, noticed, so you want it to be important.
I don't really think your absence is a flaw, in fact it wouldn't make a lot of sense if you (a college girl?) lecture an old high school football player. Right now you have an authority, a strong voice, and I think it's developed through the 2nd person you use.
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