Stripped from the Source

I realize that when I am separated from you, my tears and cries for your love are seamless emotions, and I crave for your three-in-one unified entity. I never felt love before my fingers scrolled down the worn tattered pages of Mama's life handbook, and I never felt love until I stooped on my knees and had conversations with the night. I hugged my pillow tight and I cried, "Why? Why?", but you did not answer until I sought you for what you were, and asked for your tender loving mercy and kindness. I can't explain how my heart burst and filled with emotion ,as I sung praises in your name, and rebuked evil from my presence. I dropped the dancing, the empty pleasures, lustful connections for you ,because you were my all, and I wanted you more than a crack addict wants a high. When I was stripped from you, I could not breathe, I felt the nudging in my soul to be lead back to you, but I ignored you because I wanted to indulge in earthly pleasures. My eyes were opened past the blind markers and choking bridle when your spirit poured over me and even in my sin, I hurt, because I knew I was hurting you. I wanted what my life was previously and temptation struck me like the apple the serpent gave to Eve, and I bit it, sweet and pure in its twisted delicacy. I want you though more than the sin, I want you more than the temporary high, I want you so bad- I can't even fathom a life where I am forever stripped from the source and cast into utter darkness, where there is much weeping and gnashing of teeth.