The Spiritual Struggler's Prayer
Dear Lord,
I just wanted to say that today was not as good of a day. I felt like I was in a trap, running through an endless maze, catching dreams but dissipating into fumes. I feel like chaos tears at me when I sleep and that hope was crushed by the devil lingering over the expectant hue. I take two steps forward and infinity steps back, always the enemy is pulling me into his trap, but I know that if I ask for your guidance and don't turn away from your fatherly lap, that you will wrap presents for me in heaven and will always have my back. But let me rewind back to today when I pulled out my hair and had anger boiling up in me produced by fear that turned into wrath. Holy words were not the ones I wanted to spit out. I felt like I had cleaned up my act and was doing everything a good girl should, but then I realized that it was pointless me trying to succeed, because it didn't matter my deeds, because people would still feed off of what I'm not doing right and the chaos would never end and I would be pinned into sin. I wanted to curse, I wanted to shout, I wanted to go insane -a perfectionist who decides to cut life because her reality didn't go right. But I'm looking to you Lord to give me an answer, I'm not perfect but transform Lord into what you want me to be- patient, kind, gentle. Loving and relentless like Christ that was willing to sacrifice life so that imperfect humans wouldn't have to bear the impossible strife. Thank you Lord.
I just wanted to say that today was not as good of a day. I felt like I was in a trap, running through an endless maze, catching dreams but dissipating into fumes. I feel like chaos tears at me when I sleep and that hope was crushed by the devil lingering over the expectant hue. I take two steps forward and infinity steps back, always the enemy is pulling me into his trap, but I know that if I ask for your guidance and don't turn away from your fatherly lap, that you will wrap presents for me in heaven and will always have my back. But let me rewind back to today when I pulled out my hair and had anger boiling up in me produced by fear that turned into wrath. Holy words were not the ones I wanted to spit out. I felt like I had cleaned up my act and was doing everything a good girl should, but then I realized that it was pointless me trying to succeed, because it didn't matter my deeds, because people would still feed off of what I'm not doing right and the chaos would never end and I would be pinned into sin. I wanted to curse, I wanted to shout, I wanted to go insane -a perfectionist who decides to cut life because her reality didn't go right. But I'm looking to you Lord to give me an answer, I'm not perfect but transform Lord into what you want me to be- patient, kind, gentle. Loving and relentless like Christ that was willing to sacrifice life so that imperfect humans wouldn't have to bear the impossible strife. Thank you Lord.
In Jesus name we pray,
Amen.
Amen.
Labels: God, Higher Bonding, Patience
posted by Kamaria Monmouth @ 3:13 PM
2 Comments:
I like the idea of a story being told through a prayer, but this risks the danger of the story becoming too much 'tell' and not enough 'show.' Why were you angry? What happened to make you so blue? You give good descriptions of how exactly you felt, but not much else is revealed in this piece.
Again, I do like the idea of prayer as a vehicle for a story--there's a lot of ideas you could play around with the bring a story through.
Yes, I agree! This idea is different and do think a lot of specific details could be provided. I am sure in talking with God you would give some details and truly let whatever you want to say come forth. I would like to see that honesty here
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